Friday, March 28, 2008

A Good-Weird Feeling?

Have you ever had the strange empty feeling when the kids are not around, yet feel relaxed at the same time?
I'm not talking when they are away at school (or pre-school)...something longer - a few days perhaps?

It happened to me a couple of years ago...

My sis-U and bil-A magnanimously offered to take T1 and T2 with them on a road trip to the Berkshires.
For a whole Week! Some guts they had to even make the proposition!
Of course my parents were going with them too...
...but still offering to take 2 year old T2 and 5 (almost) year old T1 was a gutsy move on their part! They have two girls of their own, S1 and S2 (6 and 3 at the time).
We had no idea how T2 would react to not seeing us for a whole week.

We had quite a few years alone before our biological clocks started sending alarms to have a baby. Time and again, we miss that carefree life, just like anyone else. Now we were given a chance at that for a few days.

We took them up on their offer and drove with them to the Berkshires, stayed overnight and then took a train back home.
The strange feeling started soon after we got on board the Amtrak train! We terribly missed our darling girls and any conversation we had seemed to find a way to end up being about them!
At the same time we were able to value our time alone.
Having an uninterrupted conversation or meal felt very unrealistic...We stopped at Target on our way home. There was no pressure to rush back home like we always do. I cannot even explain what that felt like! I almost feel guilty writing about it.

Before we knew it, the week ended and we were back on the Amtrak. Strangely, it was T1 who was asking for us every once in a while (when she wasn't at the pool or the mountains or a show or a hike or making up silly songs with S1 and S2...).
We were really worried about T2 giving them a hard time. She apparently had taken very well to my bil and he was her designated "ootufier" (yeah, made up that word - the one to feed her). She wanted my sis for everything else, but gave her a cold shoulder when it was time to eat!
I think it turned out not so bad...!
Thanks guys!!

Overall it was a good time away from each other, but we were all SO GLAD to be back together. The whole week gave us a mixture of feelings - of missing, being missed, solitude, and not to mention the Guilt...but I think it made all of us appreciate each other so much more, even if it was only till the next time-out!


DotMom said...

I like the word ootufier :D

I know what you mean.. My limit I think is a few hours. I glad to get away for a quite dinner and I am glad for it but after that it starts getting wierd. Don't know how we are going to manage as emty nesters!

Anonymous said...

this is sis-u... it was worth every moment to take t1-t2 with me... and at that time i was planning to do it every year with us... seeing this blog, makes me wonder if 'girl-next-door' will allow this to happen or not??

Girl Next Door (gnd) said...

Dotmom: these guilt trips are a first step of prep for when they are ready to go on their own :)
Sis-U: We hardly even meet anymore, let alone plan another trip like that :(
Be our guest anytime ;) but, maybe we can keep the trips shorter...